Here are some tips for showing your client the respect of letting him keep his Monkey (i.e. solving his own problem or dilemma). It's really all in what you say, or don't say, as the case may be.

Don't be an objection-buster. When a client throws out objections, concerns or stumbling blocks, be sure to think before you speak. Often times these issues will be HIS Monkeys, not yours. Just smile, nod and make an "I hear ya" noise, and let the client continue. If he wants your input, he'll ask for it directly, but until he does, just listen without offering solutions.

If, after your moment of golden silence, you realize that this is, infact, your Monkey, go ahead and offer a response or solution. If you aren't sure, just write it down or commit it to memory to ponder later. You can always accept a Monkey after the fact, but it's much tougher to return a Monkey after you've accepted it prematurely.

Ask "What's Your Plan B?" Do this as if you are not guaranteeing the desired outcome, which you aren't. You can use this strategy with sellers who are being a little stubborn about pricing, accessibility or condition. Just sweetly ask them what they will do if their home doesn't sell for the price they "need" or, at all. This subtly lets them know that while you'll do your best, you won't take full responsibility for their home selling -- that's not a Monkey you'll accept.

Check for Motivation. If a buyer or seller looks to you to solve a problem that isn't reasonably yours to solve (e.g. you give up some of your commission to put or hold a deal together), you can gently say something like "I've found that when a real estate agent wants to make a deal more than the other parties involved, it's not the right deal to make."

So, what is the punch line?

If you know what Monkeys are yours to carry, and which are not, and you respect the other party enough to let him keep his own Monkeys, you'll be a much happier, healthier and rested real estate agent!

Published: March 8, 2010

Use of this article without permission is a violation of federal copyright laws.

Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn was a top producing real estate broker in Denver, Colorado before writing her first book in 2007. Since then, she has written several more books about the business of selling real estate including her flagship book: Sell with Soul: Creating an Extraordinary Career in Real Estate without Losing Your Friends, Your Principles or Your Self-Respect, the sequel, If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate, You're Not Doing it Right and her latest, to be released in Spring 2011, Prospect with Soul for Real Estate Agents. Jennifer believes that the secret of success for real estate agents is not in aggressive marketing techniques or hard-core sales pitches, but rather in being competent in one's craft. Competence begets Confidence. And in today's world of increasingly suspicious and ad-weary consumers, having an air of self-assurance and enthusiasm will be far more effective than a slick sales campaign. Jennifer writes and speaks with this philosophy in mind. She preaches that salespeople should follow the Golden Rule in their day-to-day practice of business - treating clients and prospects respectfully, as the salesperson him or herself would like to be treated. Being competent, reliable and fair, and motivated by a true desire to earn a paycheck, not just show up at closing with hand outstretched. She is a regular contributor to several real estate newsletters and magazines, a member of the RE/MAX Hall of Fame and one of the industry's most popular bloggers. You can learn more about Jennifer's "soulful" philosophies at www.SellWithSoul.com. Subscribe Below to Enroll in the Daily Seduction Newsletter Mini-Clinic - Tips and Strategies to Generate Business and Referrals From Your Sphere of Influence! Your Full Name Your Email Address